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Why do Divorced Men Fear for the Remarriage ?

★★★ 2010-11-18 Print Email


Marriage is the ideal heaven for the lovers .Marriage is also the forbidden place for the couples having ever suffered the emotional trauma .
 
I have ever watched a TV program . A divorced man made acquaintance with a woman through the work and they fell in love with each other . They have cohabited for five years and the woman has desired for the marriage from 25 to 30 years old constantly . Once she puts forward this idea , this man always find various reasons to refuse her . In the program the man told the real reason "My friends told me that you had got rid of the tie of marriage ,if you remarried , it means you fall into the trap again . You are so foolish ..., I do not want to get marry too . I have ever got married and I know that it is not an easy thing to sustain a family . Without the house , the living cost of the families , the fees for illness of the old and the children , and the fee for the child's education , all burden me so I do not want to get married now . "

Marriage is the ideal heaven for the lovers .Marriage is also the forbidden place for the couples having ever suffered the emotional trauma . The marriage is different from love affairs . It burdens more responsibilities and it can not be retrograde . When falling in love , the couples are burned by the loving fire . After the marriage , they had better have a cold water shower and then decide how to build their happy way.
 
I do not mean to comment on those couples who are hit cruelly after the marriage . No matter what unforgivable shortcomings they have ,mediocre or noble ones , the thing is the same that they are hurt by the marriage . As for the people with the experiences in marriage , divorce means the disintegration of the family . No matter who should undertake this responsibility , it is inevitable that the couples both suffer irretrievable hurt and harm .
  
But for the divorcees , if they can recombine the families , their happiness and fear are beyond the words . Both the concerned people and their children should cherish this late happiness but the remarriage is so fragile . More often than not , the old divorce after the remarriage just because their children obstruct them for their assets . The middle age divorce after the remarriage most because nostalgic comparative psychology and they may suspect each other . This marriage without the emotional base can be broken up soon once the conflicts happen to the two sides . It is worth mentioning that the remarried family will suffer heavier loads . It is the common phenomenon that if you have money , I will live with you but without money , the marriage will end . It is seldom to see them enduring the hardship together . They indeed come together just for the money . It is also an important factor influencing the affection of the remarried spouses that they fail to get along well with the children .
  
Why do the divorced men so fear for the remarriage now? The people may can not help thinking " Does the remarriage really mean falling into the trap again . Although they also like their wives , they can live with them in the spouses' way and consider them . But once it comes to the "remarriage" , they will feel frightened and she will never understand the true thoughts of the divorced men .

Xiaoju often cries for insomnia because she does not know where her marriage is and if she should get marries . She is already nearly thirty years old and loves a man who has his own wife . The families have introduced some men to her and she keeps touch with one on phone .But her true lover is a man can not marry her while the man who can marry her is not the right person for her . The youth will not return ans she is not young any more . She feels lost for the sense of loss .
  
Under this condition , her boyfriend divorce which gives her some hope in the darkness . In the past , she cared about nothing for her boyfriend still had his own family and she was willing to accompany him .Now the boyfriend divorces ,she feels that she can not be with the sense of safety until they get married as if someone may break up them at any time . She always bears the words in mind "Why is it so hard to love a divorced men while easy to love a man who has wife already ?

A remarried man said that the remarried spouses do not only lack the understanding and tolerance . What's more , they lack the are and privity .It is only a superficial recombination of the family and the natural male-female relationship . It seems that the family is integrated and happy and the families love each other but in fact they support the recombined marriage bitterly .

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